Between Abuse and Homelessness: The Overlooked Impact of the Housing Crisis

When we talk about domestic violence, the focus is often on the emotional and physical toll it takes—which is absolutely critical. But there’s another, often overlooked layer that can quietly and powerfully shape a survivor’s experience: housing.

In a growing number of cases, survivors of domestic violence aren’t choosing between staying and leaving. They’re choosing between abuse and homelessness—and that is not a real choice.

The current housing crisis in many parts of the country has made it harder than ever for survivors to access safety, stability, and independence. And while domestic violence is never caused by poverty, a lack of affordable housing is one of the biggest barriers to escaping it.

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How Housing Insecurity Traps Survivors

The intersection of housing instability and domestic abuse is deeply complex. For many survivors, abuse isn’t just emotional or physical—it’s also financial. Abusive partners may control income, sabotage employment, or put everything in their own name, leaving the survivor without access to money or legal housing rights.

When housing is scarce and unaffordable, that control becomes even more effective. Even when survivors are ready to leave, they face staggering obstacles:

• Unaffordable rent: Survivors may not have income, savings, or rental history outside the abusive relationship. In today’s market, even working full-time often isn’t enough to secure safe housing without support.

• Limited shelter space: Domestic violence shelters are underfunded and frequently full. Many operate on waitlists, with limited stays, and may not be equipped to house survivors with children, pets, or disabilities.

• Risk of retaliation: Survivors who do leave may fear that their abusive partner will stalk, harass, or retaliate—especially if there’s no secure place to go or inadequate legal protections.

• Child custody fears: Some survivors stay in abusive homes out of fear that leaving without a stable residence could jeopardize their custody of their children.

The result? Many people remain in unsafe relationships, not because they want to—but because the alternative feels even more dangerous.

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Emotional and Psychological Consequences

It’s difficult to overstate the emotional weight of this decision. Being forced to stay in an abusive environment because there is no safe exit can leave survivors feeling hopeless, ashamed, and unseen.

This dynamic can lead to:

• Chronic anxiety, depression, and trauma responses

• Erosion of self-worth and agency

• Feelings of isolation, guilt, and invisibility

• Deep exhaustion from constantly weighing impossible options

It’s not just about being physically safe. Survivors need a sense of stability, dignity, and belonging—and without a secure place to land, healing becomes even harder.

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For Children, the Stakes Are Even Higher

Children living in abusive homes where housing is unstable face significant developmental risks. Exposure to domestic violence alone can increase anxiety, aggression, sleep disturbances, and difficulty in school. Add the trauma of housing insecurity or homelessness, and their ability to thrive is further compromised.

For parents, especially mothers, this creates a heart-wrenching reality: stay for the sake of shelter, or leave without knowing where your child will sleep.

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What Needs to Change

It is critical that we view housing as a form of safety—because for survivors of domestic violence, it absolutely is.

We need:

• More investment in affordable housing specifically earmarked for survivors

• Longer-term shelter options that accommodate diverse family structures and needs

• Trauma-informed housing programs that integrate legal, emotional, and financial support

• Policies that prevent survivors from being penalized for the actions of their abuser (such as eviction or utility debt)

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You Are Not Alone

If you are navigating the impossible choice between staying in an unsafe situation and stepping into housing uncertainty, please know this: you are not alone, and this is not your fault.

The system was not built with survivors in mind—but there are people working every day to change that. You deserve safety, support, and a life where you do not have to sacrifice your peace for a place to sleep.

Speaking to a therapist, especially one trained in trauma or domestic violence, can be a powerful step in reclaiming your sense of agency and safety. Therapy can help you process your experiences, explore your options, and begin to heal—no matter what stage you are in.

Domestic Violence Resources in New York City

If you or someone you know is facing domestic violence in NYC, help is available. These organizations provide free, confidential services to support safety, shelter, and healing:

NYC 24-Hour Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-621-HOPE (4673)

Available 24/7, with interpreters in over 150 languages. Offers safety planning, crisis intervention, and referrals.

NYC Family Justice Centers (FJCs)

Located in all five boroughs, FJCs offer legal help, counseling, housing support, and more. Survivors can receive services regardless of immigration status.

Find a location: https://www.nyc.gov/fjc

Safe Horizon

Provides comprehensive support including shelter, legal advocacy, trauma counseling, and housing resources.

Visit: https://www.safehorizon.org

Hotline: 1-800-621-4673

Sanctuary for Families

Offers emergency shelter, legal support, and therapeutic services for survivors and their children.

Visit: https://www.sanctuaryforfamilies.org

Her Justice

Connects women living in poverty with free legal services, particularly around family law, immigration, and housing.

Visit: https://herjustice.org